Growth Doesn't Start With Answers — It Starts With the Right Questions

The Power of Asking the Right Questions

I have this thing about questions.
To me, one of the most important things in our lives is making sure we are asking ourselves the right questions. But it can be so difficult knowing what those questions should be.

If we ask ourselves the wrong questions and get all of those answers right — well, it’s not even half as helpful as asking the right question and finding no answer at all. Over time, I've come to believe that it’s not the certainty that grows us. It’s the curiosity. It’s the willingness to ask—and to wait.

Years ago, a friend called me for advice about a relationship issue he was having. And while I used to be full of advice (not so much anymore), I just asked him the first question that came to mind. For him, it was a WOW moment. He said he had never even thought about that angle. It became a turning point in how he saw the whole “problem.”

For me, it was a learning experience: Sometimes the most powerful questions aren’t fancy or philosophical. Sometimes they are basic and standing in the room with us, but in someone else's line of vision. They are the questions that help us understand the real shape of our lives.

I wish I had all the perfect questions and answers. Knowing what the right questions are, though—that can be a slow uncovering. It often feels like pulling at a thread. But I truly and passionately believe that asking the right questions is often the first real step toward growth.

Sometimes the answer to a good question doesn’t come right away. Sometimes the answer unfolds slowly, like a story. And sometimes, asking one question only leads you to realize there’s an even deeper question that must be answered first. It’s not a failure. It’s the natural, beautiful way of growing into a wiser, fuller version of yourself.

The Role of Questions in Therapy

As a therapist, I see this every day. The right questions aren't about giving advice or offering quick fixes.
They're about helping clients discover their own answers—the ones that are already quietly forming inside of them.

Real healing comes not from being handed solutions, but from being asked the kinds of questions that awaken clarity, courage, and self-trust.

It’s a slow, beautiful unfolding—just as it should be.

One of my favorite reminders:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves...
Do not now seek the answers...
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
— Rainer Maria Rilke

At the end of the day, it’s not about finding a perfect answer. It’s about living a life that is honest enough, curious enough, and brave enough to keep asking the real questions—even when the answers take their sweet time.